In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the concept of "parts" refers to sub-personalities that exist within an individual. These parts originate from early life experiences and are believed to develop to cope with difficult emotions, traumatic events, or other challenging circumstances.

According to IFS theory, parts are in a natural state when they are in a state of self-leadership. This means that they are not being controlled by other parts and are functioning in a way that is authentic to their nature and purpose. In this state, parts can express their needs and desires in a healthy and balanced way and work together harmoniously to support the individual’s overall well-being.

However, when parts become activated by trauma or other life events, they can become "exiled." This means that they are pushed away from the individual's conscious awareness and are unable to function healthily. When this happens, other parts may step in to "protect" the individual from the emotions associated with these exiled parts, leading to a system of parts that is imbalanced and not functioning optimally.

As we know, in IFS, the aim is to help individuals access and heal their exiled parts and to support their parts in returning to a state of self-leadership. This can involve working with the individual's Self to gain greater insight into their parts’ origins and motivations and develop a sense of compassion and understanding for each part. Ultimately, the goal is to help the individual integrate their parts into a healthy and harmonious system, where all parts can function in a way that supports their well-being.

A question I commonly get asked is, apart from trauma, what activates a part out of its natural state?

As a therapist, what I experience with my client’s parts can be activated and move out of their natural state for various reasons, not just trauma. Some common activators include:

1. Stress: Stressful life events, such as financial difficulties, relationship problems, or job stress, can trigger parts that are sensitive to such challenges.
2. Shame: Shame is a powerful emotion that can activate parts designed to protect the individual from feelings of inadequacy or embarrassment.
3. Unmet needs: When a part's needs are not met, it can become activated and cause difficulties in other parts of the individual's life.
4. Unresolved conflicts: When a part is in conflict with another, it can become activated and cause internal turmoil.
5. Habits: Certain habits or behaviours can activate parts that are associated with those behaviours. For example, a part activated by alcohol use may take control when the individual begins to drink.
6. Thoughts and emotions: Negative thoughts and emotions can activate parts designed to protect the individual from these feelings.

These are just a few reasons parts move out of their natural state and into a protector role. I’m sure there are many more, and if you wish to share your experiences, please feel free to do so.

I also get asked how parts feel about taking on these roles

Parts often have complex and conflicted feelings about their roles. Some parts may feel proud of their role and take a sense of satisfaction from it, while others may feel resentful or trapped.

For example, a part that takes on a protective role may feel a sense of duty and responsibility for keeping the individual safe, but at the same time, may feel burdened or restricted by this role. Similarly, a part in charge of keeping negative emotions at bay may feel proud of their ability to maintain a positive outlook. Still, it may also feel frustrated or stuck in this role.

It's important to note that in IFS, parts are not seen as inherently good or bad but rather as serving a purpose in the context of the individual's life. Through IFS therapy, the goal is to help the individual understand and empathise with each part and to support each part in returning to a state of self-leadership. This involves creating a safe and compassionate inner environment where parts can express their needs and desires healthily and work together harmoniously to support the individual’s well-being.

Parts always have good intention even if they do not enjoy or feel tired carrying out their role. They will always keep going as your safety is their priority. When we see our parts in this way how can we not just love and adore them. I know I had many parts which I despised, detested and wanting to get rid of. When I understood their intentions I had so much love and admiration for them.

Watch out over the coming weeks articles for about different parts, their roles and their intentions. You may be very surprised at how you start to feel deep compassion for them.

In abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls

Angela xox