Parts and Their Roles Series #1

The Mistruster

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that recognizes the human psyche as a collection of sub-personalities or "parts" that function as a system. According to IFS, all parts of our internal system have good intentions, even if they sometimes express themselves in unhelpful or harmful ways.

The basic idea behind IFS is that all of our parts have positive intentions, no matter how disruptive their behaviour might appear on the surface. This is because each part of us is trying to protect us from pain, discomfort, and other negative experiences. Even those parts that seem negative or self-sabotaging are trying to help us somehow.

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the "mistruster" part refers to a sub personality that is sceptical of the motivations and actions of other sub personalities within an individual's internal system. The mistruster part may be activated when the individual experiences feelings of vulnerability or insecurity, and it functions to protect the individual by doubting the intentions and actions of other parts.

In IFS therapy, the mistruster part is seen as a valuable part of the system, as it helps to prevent harmful actions or decisions from being taken. However, the mistruster part can also create inner conflict and block the healing process by distrusting other parts seeking help. The goal of IFS therapy is often to help the individual access and heal the vulnerable parts that the mistruster is trying to protect, allowing the mistruster to let go of its scepticism and become a more integrated and harmonious part of the internal system.

How did the mistruster part get its role in the system?

The mistruster part typically develops due to traumatic or challenging experiences that the individual has faced. When a person experiences trauma or distress, their inner system may create a subpersonality to protect you from further harm. The mistruster part serves as a protective mechanism by doubting the intentions and actions of other parts to prevent the person from being hurt again.

The specific experiences that lead to the development of a mistruster part vary from person to person. Still, they may include abuse, neglect, abandonment, or any other situation where the individual feels a loss of control or feels vulnerable. Over time, the mistruster part may become entrenched in the individual's internal system and play an ongoing role in their inner dynamics.

In IFS therapy, the goal is often to help the individual understand the origin and purpose of the mistruster part and to work with it to address the underlying vulnerabilities it is trying to protect. By doing this, the mistruster can be transformed from a hindrance to a more integrated and harmonious part of the individual's internal system.

How is best to work with the mistruster part

Working with the mistruster part involves a process of understanding, compassion, and collaboration. The following are some steps that may help in working with the mistruster part:

1. Accessing the mistruster part: The first step is to identify and connect with the mistruster part. This can be done by focusing inward and accessing feelings of distrust or scepticism.
2. Understanding the mistruster part: Once this has been accessed, it is important to understand its motivations and fears. You may ask questions to help you understand why the mistruster is sceptical and what it is trying to protect.
3. Building a relationship with the mistruster part: Once the motivations and fears of the mistruster have been understood, the next step is to build a relationship with it. This can involve expressing compassion and understanding and engaging in dialogue with the mistruster to help it see that it is not alone.
4. Releasing the mistruster's control: The goal is to help the mistruster see that it does not need to continue to be sceptical and distrustful to protect you.
5. Integrating the mistruster into the system: Finally, the goal is to integrate the mistruster into your internal system harmoniously and collaboratively. This may involve helping the mistruster see how it can work with other parts in a supportive role rather than in a sceptical or controlling role.

It is important to note that working with the mistruster part in IFS can be a complex and nuanced process that requires a skilled therapist. The exact approach will vary from person to person, depending on their individual needs and the nature of their internal system. You can work with these parts on your own to get an understanding of their role and, if it feels sincere, to offer them compassion and appreciation. This often helps to soften their role as you continue to build a relationship with them.

In abundant love and kindness for all gentle souls

Angela xox